Short funny dirty sayings.

3. Here’s to me and here’s to you. If you’re on the lookout for slightly cheeky Irish birthday blessings, this short toast should do the trick. “Here’s to me, and here’s to you, And here’s to love and laughter-. I’ll be true as …It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”. ― Franklin Jones. “Black Holes are where God divided by zero.”. ― Albert Einstein. “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”. ― Steven Wright. “If you want to …“Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.” “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!” “I’m not a weatherman, but you …There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ― Henry Kissinger. He has a face like a Saint ― A Saint Bernard. ― Unknown. A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. ― Mark Twain. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

77. “Our chat is like a cozy blanket; I'm wrapped up in every word you say.”. 78. “You must be a magician because every message from you is spellbinding.”. 79. “Texting you feels like discovering a hidden treasure map leading straight to you.”. 80. “Our conversation is a rollercoaster, and I'm loving the thrill.”. 81.Funny clean jokes. 1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. 2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.So, without further ado, let's dive into the world of inappropriate one-liners! 01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

“Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.” “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!” “I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.” “Are we at the airport? Because my heart is taking off when I see you.”

18. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all.” —Sam Ewing. 19. “Hustle until your …The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two. – Bobby Jones 🏌️‍♂️. In life and golf, the most important shot is the next one. – Tiger Woods. Golf’s beauty lies not in its perfection, but in the way it mirrors life’s imperfections. – Phil Mickelson. A bad day of golf still beats a good day at the office.Oct 3, 2023 · Funny quotes about life. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”. “Life is like a roller coaster—full of ups and downs, and it’s over way too fast.”. “I’m on the seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”. “Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out ... So, next time you need a good chuckle, sit back, relax, and enjoy these funny movie quotes. 1. "You sit on a throne of lies." Elf, 2003. 2. "It's just a flesh wound." Monty Python and the Holy ...Some examples of ribald Irish toasts include: “May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!”. “Here’s to a long life, a merry one, a quick death, and an honest one.”. “May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, ‘This drink’s on me.'”.

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So sit back, relax, and get ready to dive into the filthiest, funniest gags you’ve ever heard. Key Takeaways: The best dirty jokes are not for the faint of heart and are guaranteed to …

4. “You know you’re aging gracefully when the candles on your cake cost more than the cake itself.”. – Unknown. 5. “Aging gracefully is realizing that the ‘Fountain of Youth’ is actually a water cooler.”. – Unknown. 6. “Aging gracefully is just a polite way of saying you’re slowly falling apart with dignity.”.A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – Robert Frost. Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. – Caryn Leschen. These funny 30th birthday quotes and sayings can help brighten up someone’s day by including them on a gift card, or ...Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. 11. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 12. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s …Complimenting his appearance is one of the best ways to boost his self-esteem, strengthen your relationship, and get the sparks flying! [1] Happy birthday to you and your amazing butt. May your birthday be as great as your girlfriend. Happy birthday, bae. Love, the best decision you ever made. Happy birthday, babe.Christmas cards are a wonderful way to spread joy and love during the holiday season. Whether you’re sending them to family, friends, or colleagues, finding the perfect saying can ...27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ...

Dirty one liners. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, women. 79.84 % / 853 votes. 80 Funny Birthday Wishes. iStock. 1. May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday! 2. It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you ...In this curated collection, we present a delightful array of Dirty Statuses and Funny Quotes designed to tickle your funny bone and add a playful spark to your social media experience. Life is too short to be taken too seriously, and that’s precisely the sentiment we capture in our assortment of Dirty Statuses.Colorful Southern Expressions About Liars. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining. That dog won't hunt. You're lyin' like a no-legged dog! If his lips's movin', he's lyin'. You’d call an alligator a lizard. That man is talking with his tongue out of his shoe.7. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t ...

I keep getting lost in your eyes.”. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”. “If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.”. “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”. “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you ... 5. The tide wouldn’t take that fella out. One of many funny short Irish sayings that makes a jab at someones appearance is this one! For example: “The state of your man – the tide wouldn’t even take him out!”. 6. You’ve a head on you that would make an onion cry.

17. “Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.”. 18. “My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of god women, eat a salad.”. 19. “Saying to your friends, “If we get caught, here’s the story…””. 20. “I …Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.Sarcastic Kitchen Quotes. No Bitchin’ In My Kitchen. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so they say. But when it comes to kitchen quotes, some of those sarcastic sayings are also the funniest. Annoying the cook will result in STARVATION. Calories don’t count on the weekend. Cheese – Milk’s leap towards imortality.May 20, 2020 · Plato. “He was a wise man who invented beer.”. — Plato. The compliment of “wise” really means a lot coming from Plato. We’d like to think he’d also enjoy these funny drinking quotes ... Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes. Oliver Oliver Reed, 155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book ...Funny short friendship quotes. These funny and short quotes about friendship and laughter are perfect to send to a friend.. 1. “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” —Greg Tamblyn &nbsp 2. “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” —Marlene Dietrich &nbsp 3. “Finding friends with the same mental …

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Whether you are here for funny coffee quotes or witty bar quotes, we have the best funny drinking sayings for your letter board signs. These short drinking quotes include funny coffee sayings, funny cocktail quotes, funny beer quotes, champagne puns, and funny wine sayings. I just love the word play involved in party planning. …

Get straight to the point with these short funny Christmas wishes. Merry Christmas, that’s all. Make sure you are paying attention to Elf and safety this Christmas. Pass the Prosecc-Ho Ho-Ho. Merry Christmas, there’s snow-one quite like you. It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. Merry Christmas you old drunk.Kylie Minogue. Of course I'm naughty. I've always had to compete for attention, you see. Rachel Johnson. Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. Gary Allan. I think my biggest appeal for fans is probably the fact that I'm honest. …Over the last 300 years people have pontificated about wine. From famous artists and politicians to anonymous writings that capture the meaning of wine, here are some of the top funny wine quotes from as early as 1200 to current day. Salut! Funny Wine Quotes “In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.” ― Napoleon …Lets find out! -You’re my honey, I’m your pot , come fill me with that sweetness you got. -Slap my butt, I’m your thot. -Let’s make art, stroke me with your brush. -I want to sway my hips to the beating of your drum. -Gonna curl your toes tonight!The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”. The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”. “Wow!” said the seaman.60 means being carefree… just a little more forgetful. You can't regret what you can't remember. 60 is beauty. Vintage beauty. 60 means embracing the good life. And more naps. Turning 60 is just a new chapter in a long book. 60 means seeing the world differently… through glasses. 60 is like a great meal.Oct 18, 2022 ... PG-13 Pickup Lines · Nice pants. · Let's make a deal: I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. · Do you believe in karma? &middo...In the spirit of golf, may your joys be chip-ins and your sorrows merely bunkers. 🏖️🏌️. A toast to the greens that challenge us and the swings that define us! 🥂⛳. May your golf cart carry more laughter than your golf bag carries balls! 🚗🏌️‍♂️. To the game that steals our balls and wins our hearts, swing away! 💘⛳.

Ambrose Bierce. “Warning- may spontaneously talk about dogs” ( See it here) “My little dog – a heartbeat at my feet.”. – Edith Wharton. “I like dogs and maybe three people.”. ( Check our gifts with …Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Sexy Bedtime Quotes. Flirty Dirty Quotes. Sexy Flirty Quotes. Funny Dirty Quotes. Dirty Quotes For Him. Discover and share Hilarious Dirty Quotes And Sayings. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”. They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals. Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”. Patient: “Give me the good news first.”. Doctor: “Your test results are back, and you have only two days to live.”.Instagram:https://instagram. superlo in southaven mississippi 7. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t ... holy cross common data set Feb 15, 2024 ... I'm sweating like a whore in church. Southernisms From Way Back. mollymeadows has a few interesting Southernisms from her family: A crowded room ... caddo county assessor Short & Sweet Funny Mother's Day Quotes. 1. "Mom, I love you, even though I’ll never accept your friend request." — Anonymous. 2. "If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to do it from the start." — Anonymous. 3.14. I’m not a professional photographer, but I can picture us together. 15. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’. 16. I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you. 17. You’ve got a lot of beautiful curves, but … home remedies portland me 70. Funny pet family pet animals bunny rabbit cute animal baby bunny rabbit adorable animals bunny pet smile. Cute Bunny Quotes. 71. The truth is a bunny in a bramble patch. All you can do is circle around and say it’s somewhere in there. 72. Try saying that five times fast. This bunny knows how to try new things and has a sensitive ...Aug 1, 2023 · 70+ Dirty, Funny, and Best Rizz Lines. Lim How Wei. August 1, 2023. Lim How Wei notlhw. Rizz is a word that was invented by Kai Cenat, a YouTuber, and a Twitch streamer. It’s similar to the word, “Game”, which means that you’re confident and persuasive enough to attract the opposite sex. Rizz is about having good confidence and charisma ... pokemon gen tier list 14. I’m not a professional photographer, but I can picture us together. 15. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’. 16. I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you. 17. You’ve got a lot of beautiful curves, but … infozone Sep 13, 2023 ... 50 Words That Sound Dirty But Actually Aren't · 1. Aholehole · 2. Aktashite · 3. Assapanick · 4. Assart · 5. Bastinado &midd... house for sale in blairsville ga Rotating through some funny sayings are the perfect way to use your letter board throughout the year. Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel…. I would lose weight but I hate losing. The broom was late… it overswept. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy save mode. The key to happiness is low expectations.Get ready to laugh out loud with our top 25 hilarious dirty humor quotes for adults! These quotes touch on taboo topics such as sex, relationships, and bodily functions, and include witty quips from famous comedians and celebrities. So brace … moreno valley ca news Moving on, let’s roll through a few calorie-dense funny t-shirt sayings like a flaming wheel of cheese. Bigger is better. And I’m bigger than you. I could eat you, or you could leave. Put it in my mouth. Be afraid, or feed me. Don’t bother me while I’m eating. Not a fan of sharing. 5 rules for life: Do. Not. Touch. wrestler killed his family Whether you are here for funny coffee quotes or witty bar quotes, we have the best funny drinking sayings for your letter board signs. These short drinking quotes include funny coffee sayings, funny cocktail quotes, funny beer quotes, champagne puns, and funny wine sayings. I just love the word play involved in party planning. Styling my letter boards for parties is one of my favorite parts of ...12. “Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.”. — Melanie White. 13. “The secret to a long ... army service uniform measurements 22. Laundry-all fun and games until it has to be put away. 23. Laundry – take it one load at a time. Laundry Room Sign Sayings. 24. “I love doing laundry! Except for putting it in the dryer, taking it out and folding it and then putting it away.” 25. Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the laundry. 26.Some examples of ribald Irish toasts include: “May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!”. “Here’s to a long life, a merry one, a quick death, and an honest one.”. “May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, ‘This drink’s on me.'”. bordentown riverline Mitski. Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. George Orwell. If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer. Lenny Bruce.Everybunny will crack up over these funny one-liners about bunnies, carrots and other Easter staples. ljubaphoto / Getty Images Feb. 22, 2023, 8:56 PM UTC / Updated March 29, 2024, 5:18 PM UTCFunny printable Easter card. 7. “I’m very good at hiding chocolate eggs… in my stomach.”. 8. “Chocolate bunny quote: I wanted to say something inspirational this Easter, but I’m hollow inside.”. 9. “Easter is the day we celebrate the resurrection of calories.”. 10. “Happy Stuff-your-face-with-chocolate Day!”.